From, Anonymous

Hello, hello, hello. Okay, I know that I'm bad. I skipped last week's posting. However, in all fairness, it was the 23rd of December and considering how insane everything was going the holidays and all, I assumed my avid readers would forgive me. That being said, I'm sorry, and I will be back to my regular schedule of posting this blog every Thursday. So, to the one person who wrote me a mean, teasing letter about missing the day (you know who you are)...give me a break. Hahaha.

Of course, I'm teasing. Moving right along, though; this week's letter is another long-distance question. And is it just me, or am I starting to see a recurring theme here? Ha!

Andy,
Recently I started dating the woman I've always known I would end up with, it sounds a little silly as i am the kind of guy who was a player in high school and never thought of myself as one to even think about settling down. I know I love this girl because when ever I am around her everything feels so easy I don't have to think about things that I normally have to stop myself from doing around other women. We live about a thousand miles apart and my job keeps me from being able to travel home as much as I would like and money and other obligations stop her from traveling to see me as much as she would like. now I know I can trust her 100% and I know she trust me 100%, but lately I've had little birds flapping in my ear about if I could trust her or not in the long distance relationship. my question to you is, how do I deal with them I am not going to lose this girl again, but I don't want to drive a wedge between the people close to me either, how should I make it to where all three parties win?

<3 Anonymous

Well, much like I said last time, long-distance relationships can be extremely difficult. It's really just a matter of whether or not you want to deal with it. For example, you have stated that you love her and trust her, and then you realize what other people are saying and perhaps your trust wavers slightly. Well, you cannot have a relationship without trust--of that much, I am positive. You need to understand that people are always going to talk, and many people cannot understand the appeal of a long-distance relationship. Another thing you must realize is that the people who are doubting the sincerity of your partner are more than likely looking out for you. They do not want to see you get hurt. I would not suggest bringing this to the attention of your partner, as it could easily be misinterpreted as your trust in her wavering. However, if it truly weighs on you, it is something that you must discuss openly with your partner. You must have an open flow of communication if the relationship is to succeed and if you can't trust her then that is something you either must work on developing.

Regardless, I would not attack or be angry at those who are questioning the trustworthiness of your partner. In the interest of peace-keeping, you must be calm and understand that they only want what's best for you. However, you must tell them how you feel in a way that is not attacking them. For example, you can say, "I understand your concerns, and I appreciate it, however I feel..." and you would explain your own feelings. As I have stated before, "It's all about good communication."