From, Jinxie

Merry Christmas and Happy Yule,

So, it's Thursday, that means it's time for another letter! This has been a very busy week for me, as I'm sure it has been for most of you, so I really appreciate those of you who take the time to read my blog and send me letters. It really means a lot to me, and I'm really glad that I can help you.

This week's letter is actually something that I can relate with completely; it's about long-distance relationships--or in this case, a newly formed relationship that's turning into a long-distance relationship--and it's from a reader named Jinxie. Jinxie writes:

Red,

I have to admit, I think this is an...interesting blog that you have decided to create. Not many people would have the guts to do something like this, or the experience, so kudos. Well, my problem is with my boyfriend who I have known for years but have only recently started to date. It's not that he isn't great or anything, and I really care about him (maybe even love him, I'm not sure), but the bottom line is that he had decided to join the military and is now going to be gone for a considerable amount of time. Now I did know this ahead of time but tonight I kept thinking of all the draw backs. I suppose my biggest fear is that I may desire to be unfaithful while he's gone or worse: I may not miss him at all. You see, I'm really one of those "out of sight, out of mind" people, and the last thing that I want is to hurt him because he and I have known each other for so long. I'm just not sure how I should handle the situation, and I could really use the advice. Thanks so much!

<3 Jinxie

Well, first of all, Jinxie, thank you for the "kudos" as they are greatly appreciated. Now to tackle your problem; long-distance relationships can be tough as everybody knows. The big thing you have to ask yourself going in is if it's really worth it. I don't know your boyfriend, obviously, so you're going to have to be the judge of that. It seems to be like you're worrying about a lot of "what-if's", though, and you're talking yourself out of the relationship before it really goes anywhere. Believe me, I can understand that. But if you don't try, you'll never know what could happen. Now, that being said, if you do decide to go ahead with it, and you feel things aren't working out that's something you two will have to talk about--otherwise you two can really hurt and confuse each other. Luckily, in today's day and age, there are many ways to communicate, and in boot camp he'll be allowed to write letters which is something that can't be under-estimated. If you have to, talk to him about your reservations and such but you can't simply worry about what MIGHT happen. If you do, then you'll never be able to just let yourself be happy.

In any case, I hoped that helped. If you have any other questions you can always email me or comment. Good luck!