From, Passionatefouryou

Alright. As promised, it's Monday, and here I am posting up a new letter and a new reply. I know it's been a while, so bare with me while I tweek the website a bit. I have a new affiliate, if you're aware, of a start-up .com with a friend of mine at Convulsive Liar § Designs. The website is not up, but apparently she has some of her things up from a web design class she's taking/took, so if anything, check it out.

Okay, now that I've sold out (Thanks, Jen), let's move on to our letter, which reads:

Red,
so recently i was invited to a passion party (adult toys are sold here). my girlfriend who lives in a different state seemed to have an issue with it but she wouldnt come out and just say it. then i thought she was ignoring me the day of the event. we got into a small fight but everything is fine now. in the future is there any advice you cold give us to maybe make it easier of less of a problem?

Passionatefouryou

Okay, so the big thing you have to think about in this instance is that women think of things a lot differently than men do. Where you could very well believe that nothing is a big deal, she may believe it is--or visa versa. For example, the entire issue could simple be mis-communication. You say "I thought she was ignoring me..." but did you really know? Who's to say she simply wasn't available to talk. It's possible. The other side is to think about things from her perspective. If she seems upset, ask her what about it upsets her. Some people aren't comfortable disclosing their feelings for one reason or another, and sometimes it's important that they know that you at least care one way or another. But you can't badger someone to talk about their issues if they simply don't want to.
You say that you worked it out and that's great. But you have to understand that there are always going to be issues one way or another. The best thing that I can say is that you both need to make each other aware of things that bother you so that you can prepare in the future. I don't know what the actual problem was because you never disclosed it, but let's say--for example--that the reason she had an issue was because she didn't want you going to that kind of event (adult situations and such). Figure out why. Try to set her at ease about the issue. If you can't, then the pair of you have to reach a compromise. That's what being in a relationship is. And both of you have to be willing to do the work if you want to be together.

If you (or anyone) would like a more in-depth example or something more specific, please feel free to comment below or send me an email at AskRedAndy@gmail.com and I'll be happy to help.